Hanging Of Collective Conscience

The Hanging of Collective Conscience

I remember in my childhood days, I was a die hard supporter of Indian Cricket Team.People used to taunt me,on my support for indian cricket team. Most of my friends,supported Pakistan cricket team.Even in my family, I was the only supporter of india.Whenever India and Pakistan used to play each other,I remained glued to the idiot box.If India were defeated in some match,there were tears in my eyes.While others around me used to rejoice.Those days I was a child with negligible amount of knowledge about my State's history and India's war against it's so called own people,"Atoot Ang" as they refered to Kashmir.I used to wonder why people around me hate their own country.My parents used to tell stay away from the Armed people on streets(CRPF).They are popularly known as "Indian Dogs" in Kashmir,as my friends used to say.I found it rather bemusing,calling them such names.For me,CRPF people were human beings like us with families.Once ,i remember i had made one CRPF man my friend.Slowly, a feeling of patriotism for my country was rising. I wanted to change the misconceptions of people regarding their own country.Call it my naiveness.
In the summer of 2008,there was a mass agitation regarding some Amarnath Issue.My school remained closed for months.With people from all fields of life,protesting around me,i felt an urge to know my history,to dwell in the past.Around 110 people died during the protest season of 2008, some were in my age group.A mother lost her child in my locality, a son lost his Father in some other locality...Suddenly many tragedies were circling around me.
This process continued in the next summer as well.My perception against my own country changed.I found India as a draconian country.
But there was a other side as well.I went outside kashmir for the first time in 2011,to complete my schooling in Delhi.People of india were very welcoming and loving.My non-kashmiri friends were better than many of my Kashmiri friends.But i found ignorance among them regarding the situation in my state.They were not aware of the ground realities at my home.They didn't know we celebrate republic day and independence day as a Black day,they don't know we sit down when the national anthem is recited,as a mark of protest.
I came to understanding of the fact that why my people chose not to support Indian cricket team,as it was a mark of protest,not because we are affectionate of Pakistan.
On the day of 9th February,2013, i remember coming from my school when i overheard the news of secret hanging of Afzal Guru,based on just circumstantial evidence.The home minister justified the hanging as it fulfilled the collective conscience of the nation.Ya, it fulfilled the collective conscience of India,while it hanged the conscience of people of kashmir.
Although there is no freedom of expression in dummy republic of India,still i will protest against the tyrannical laws of India in my state.I cannot hurl a stone on them,but i certainly can write.
Maybe i have found an answer on my people's stand on India.

In the interest of National Security,India continues to trample on the lives,hopes and aspirations of my people.But indeed the people of India need to know the whole story of Kashmir and as a mark of solidarity protest against the laws implied by India on Kashmir.